About the Pranaiya & Arthur Magoffin Foundation
About Pranaiya & Arthur
Pranaiya Oulapathorn was known to her families and friends as a bright and caring soul with helpful hands and a kind heart. She devoted much time to helping others from all walks of life, a generous and thoughtful philanthropist who saw her giving as a tool to help others in need and empower disadvantaged lives.
Education was an issue close to her heart, with a concern of hers being the lack of quality information available for expectant and new parents in Thailand. Hence, she wished to address this once her life settled after giving birth to Arthur, ensuring similar quality materials to Thais as that in the West.
Arthur Magoffin was born in March 2021, to Pranaiya and Hamish Magoffin, and was a healthy and bubbly baby, very engaging for his age and brought joy to those around him.
Unfortunately, we lost Pranaiya and Arthur prematurely to postpartum depression. Therefore, the Pranaiya and Arthur Magoffin Foundation (“PAM Foundation”) is being established to continue Pranaiya’s legacy of positive societal impact while addressing the condition in which we lost her and Arthur.
Comments from Hamish Magoffin
Last month I lost my beautiful wife, Pranaiya, and our 5-month-old son, Arthur, to postpartum depression.
I am touched by the outpouring of support and wishes (often recurring) since Pranaiya and Arthur’s passing, some from people I haven’t seen in decades and others for whom our paths only crossed fleetingly at one point in time. To everybody, including those that I know we’ve been in their thoughts but don’t know how best to reach out, thank you.
I spoke about Pranaiya and Arthur in my eulogy and have been in two minds about posting anything on social media but given the tragic nature of their passing I feel it important to raise awareness of peripartum issues and in particular postpartum depression (“PPD”).
By all usual considerations we should not have lost them – our relationship as a couple couldn’t have been any better, Arthur was a happy and healthy baby, we had a comfortable life with ample resources, our families (and friends) are extraordinarily loving and caring on both sides, there were no hereditary aspects, and Pranaiya never had any previous mental health issues.
We discussed how lucky we were with all the above factors, and Pranaiya acknowledged this, however, said it did not help her feel any better, and also acknowledged how strange that was. This is the nature of depression.
Those of you who knew Pranaiya know what a happy and positive person she was, great with kids, and how kind and caring she was. And there was no difference in our private life – she was the same, beautiful person at home as in public.
After what appears to have been a “chemical pregnancy” and subsequently a ruptured follicular cyst in 2019, along with a bit of a bumpy first trimester, we were excited and happy when Pranaiya gave birth to a happy, healthy baby boy earlier this year.
Based on some new parent advice from friends when Pranaiya gave birth we were aware of PPD and when there were some indications of depression sought a range of treatments to tackle it in its early stages, with her family and I taking turns to support her and doing everything we could in the current environment.
There was however one big overarching external factor which amplified the situation, and that is COVID, and in particular, the most recent lockdown here in Bangkok. Developing high levels of anxiety before dipping into depression, Pranaiya became very concerned with potential COVID exposure and what one of us contracting it would mean for our family. Also, with restaurants, parks, etc., closed, movement limited, and little social interaction there was no relief to her daily suffering, and she felt trapped, physically and mentally.
It had been a long time coming to finally get settled, and we had everything to look forward to finally. Pranaiya had put up a strong fight to get to where we got to, and for those that have had difficult pregnancies, know how much of a toll it can take on the mum. With poor sleep and everything happening she would say how difficult she was finding things and we did everything we could to support her.
PPD and mental health need to be taken seriously. In terms of scientific method, Pranaiya’s case is quite unique – aside from COVID (a big factor) there were no other external issues. The hormonal and chemical changes new mothers experience can be extreme, as highlighted in this situation, which also emphasises the internal and physiological nature of depression.
The stigma for mental health needs to be removed. As is clear from this incident, it is no fault of the person suffering, and we need to take care of our those that do suffer. Pranaiya, being who she was, used to say, “sorry for causing trouble” and I’d always tell her not to say that, stressing that it was not her fault; ultimately it is an illness and needs to be treated as such.
Breaking down the stigma does however work both ways – we need to care for others and make people feel comfortable opening up, at least acknowledging that someone is having an issue; and on the flip side those suffering can’t bottle everything up and should feel they can reach out.
There is a word in Thai that I’ve learned lately, “greng jai”. There isn’t an exact translation in English (Google it if interested), but it relates to a degree of consideration – not wanting to bother people. When it comes to mental health issues, which you can’t see like a broken leg, don’t be “greng jai”.
Since mentioning Pranaiya’s PPD to people, as we were experiencing that, and more recently with her and Arthur’s passing, it is amazing how many people have opened up about PPD and/or general mental health issues they have had or someone they know have had. It is everywhere. And because people aren’t aware of this, when someone we know develops a mental health issue they bottle it up and don’t know who to turn to. This must change.
Life is precious. Love those around you. Check in with people every now and then.
And for those suffering, don’t be too “greng jai” – your friends and family care about you and want to support you in whatever way possible to tackle what life has thrown at you. You are not alone.
- Originally posted on Facebook in October 2021.